Why Being a Liberal Jew Feels So Lonely and Exhausting Right Now

And what do we do about it

NOTE: I had this post scheduled to go out on the morning of June 13 and then the night before the war between Israel and Iran broke out and I pulled it down. I’ve made some small updates but the piece is evergreen and so I mostly kept things the same.

It feels incredibly lonely, exhausting, and overwhelming to be a liberal American Jew right now. This isn’t just how I feel, but what I’ve heard from so many friends and colleagues over the past few weeks. It’s obviously scary. The attacks on Governor Shapiro’s residence, the AJC event in Washington, and the march for the hostages in Boulder makes Jew fear for their safety. But it’s more than just that. It’s also because so many of the institutions that Jews have traditionally counted on as sources of strength and leadership in moments of crisis are not as reliable as they used to be and are sometimes a big part of the problem. That just makes everything exhausting and more confusing.

The Institutions that are Failing Us

Start with the U.S. government. In the past, the President’s role especially in moments of tragedy was to act as comforter in chief. And Jews could expect that the government would be pursuing good faith efforts to keep them safe without politics interfering. That is not what is happening with the Trump administration. There is of course the appropriate and necessary condemnation of antisemitism, but then almost immediately a pivot to attacks on immigrants and higher education in the name of fighting antisemitism. Attacks that most Jews oppose.

Just look at the two Congressional resolutions that passed in response to the recent spate of antisemitic attacks. There was thankfully a bipartisan resolution that passed with unanimous support condemning the attacks. But then we had a second resolution focused on the attacker’s immigration status and framed entirely as an anti-immigration resolution that thanked ICE. This even though ICE was not one of the agencies responding on the day of the shooting. It was the FBI and Colorado police, neither of whom received a specific word of thanks in the resolution. An initial draft of this second resolution even included a statement saying “Free Palestine” was an antisemitic phrase before that language was struck. At the end the resolution passed with unanimous Republican support and a split Democratic caucus. It would be helpful to be able to actually take a moment to process the grief and horror of what is happening without having to immediately jump into fighting against others using our community’s pain to pursue their own agenda.

The second major failure is from the Israeli government, which has in the past in moments of crisis been a beacon for Jews around the world, but is now basically the opposite. The worldview and policies being promoted by Itmar Ben Gvir, Belzal Smotrich, and Benjamin Netanyahu are anathema to most American Jews. The biggest problem at this point is of course perpetuating the war in Gaza and deplorable humanitarian conditions instead of taking a deal that ends the war in exchange for the hostages. Let’s be clear that Hamas started this war by committing the horrible atrocities of October 7th and has been an incredibly difficult negotiating partner ever since. But it is also clear that, at this point, Hamas’s demand that Israel end the war in exchange for the hostages is a concession that 70% of the Israeli public is willing to make. Former Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert is speaking out stating that Israel is committing war crimes as former right wing Israeli Defense Minister Bougie Yaalon accuses Israel of ethnic cleansing. And avid anti-Israel activists such as (check notes) NY Times columnist Tom Friedman and 550 retired senior Israeli security officials are warning of the impact of the Israeli government’s actions on Jews all over the world.

To be crystal clear: Blaming American Jews for what is happening in Gaza and attacking them for the behavior of the Israeli government is antisemitism – end stop. However, let's also be real. As long as the war goes on and horrific images keep coming out of Gaza, American Jews and Jews across the world will be exposed to a higher level of risk to antisemitic attacks.

The third failure is from our allies on the Left in the United States who we are used to having in our corner. As Sheila Katz laid out in the NY Times, there have been too many instances since October 7th where progressives have failed to see Jewish pain. Whether it’s the initial hesitancy by women’s organizations to speak out about the sexual violence that occurred on October 7th or exclusion of “Zionists” from traditional progressive spaces like LGBTQ events or events on preserving the environment. Or use of language in protests that sometimes crosses over from concern for Palestinian lives and freedom, into the type of language that is seen by the extreme fringes of the left as a call to violence (e.g. “by any means necessary” or “globalize the intifada.”)

Another example I saw just a couple of weeks ago, was a series of social media posts with almost 100K likes that singles out a direct link between IDF and ICE exchange programs and what is happening right now in Los Angeles. ICE has these types of relationships with many U.S. partners around the world. Yet somehow we need to draw a direct link to the IDF and explicitly blame Israel and implicitly blame Jews for the Trump Administration’s decision to send the National Guard into Los Angeles.

The most recent instance of this challenge comes from the New York mayoral race and the controversy surrounding Zohran Mamdani. I could write a whole piece about that, but for the moment since this was a post I wrote two weeks ago and don’t want to entirely rewrite, I’ll instead refer you to Jeremy Ben-Ami’s post and our conversation on our substack live last week.

These various examples are all very different, and I’ve written in greater detail about how at least I distinguish between what I see as clearly antisemitic behavior and what are examples of unconscious bias or ignorance. But all of it is disappointing and hard to deal with.

The final failure comes from American Jewish organizations, and here maybe the biggest disappointment is the Anti-Defamation League (ADL). The ADL is a vital organization with an important history. At this moment with what American Jews are facing, it should be THE leading entity countering antisemitism in the United States and yet in too many instances it seems to be coming up short. The latest example is Jonathan Greenblatt’s offensive statements at a conference to Republican Attorney Generals. I tend to agree with the ADL (and maybe not some of my progressive friends) that anti-masking laws are a good idea. They were initially enacted to counter the KKK. But that doesn’t justify Greenblatt saying “You have people hiding their faces behind scarves and keffiyehs like they’re in ISIS, storming libraries, vandalizing buildings and literally – I’m not exaggerating – terrorizing their classmates.” I have my deep skepticism, anger, and frustration about some of the ways protestors have conducted themselves since October 7th. But that does not justify Greenblatt saying “the founding fathers didn’t want al-Qaida right running rampant on our streets.” Al Qaeda murdered nearly 3,000 Americans on September 11th and ISIS beheaded Americans and burned prisoners alive while broadcasting the events around the world. Lumping student protesters, which include many Muslim and Arab Americans, with Al Qaeda and ISIS, perpetuates anti-Arab and anti-Muslim hate. And it gives Donald Trump cover to further hijack the fight against antisemitism for his anti-democratic agenda. These are the types of statements you might excuse or ignore at a family gathering from a relative you don’t really agree with. Coming from the leader of the preeminent American Jewish organization charged with fighting antisemitism and “secur[ing] justice and fair treatment to all.” It’s a major problem.

By Ted Eytan - National Menorah Washington DC

How we Respond

So what are liberal American Jews to do with this situation where the U.S. government, Israeli government, some progressive allies, and some mainstream Jewish organizations are all coming up short in different ways? The good news is that there is a lot to do and many good options for how to do it.

Standing up to the U.S. government is straightforward. Keep speaking out for the things we care about and believe in as a community and make clear that when the Trump administration cuts billions in education funding or deports visa holders without any due process all in the name of countering antisemitism, they do not speak for us.

When it comes to the Israeli government, we also need to be expressing our concern especially over what is happening in Gaza. Here I’ll just quote from the letter of 550 retired security officials:

We categorically reject the notion that Jews in the diaspora must remain silent on matters concerning Israel. Israel was founded as the homeland of the entire Jewish people, and its Declaration of Independence recognizes the essential role of diaspora Jewry in shaping our collective destiny. Whereas Israeli decisions will be made exclusively by Israelis who live here, the views of our partners in this historic Jewish joint venture should inform those decisions. To those who fear that public criticism undermines Israel, we say that open, honest dialogue only reinforces our democracy and our security. As we learned repeatedly, in security, suppressing criticism or demanding silence is outright dangerous. In interJewish dialogue, it risks eroding the very foundations upon which Israel was built.

The good news is that there are many Israelis who agree with this point and disagree with their current government, including most of the hostage families. Building alliances between liberal U.S. Jews and this Israeli opposition is essential. And J Street is the vital organization that is giving American Jews a political voice in expressing this concern to our leaders in the United States. And so if this is something you want to do, please do get involved.

As for engaging with progressives… Again, there are many allies out there including the 60 civil rights organizations that signed on to join a letter condemning the recent attacks. The key is for Jews to be engaging with progressive allies, and for them to be supporting Jews and calling out antisemitism when they see it on the left. The other key here is that oftentimes, what Jews are dealing with on the left is unconscious bias or ignorance. There the best solution is to be present in progressive spaces and have those awkward hard conversations that educate or point these things out.

Finally, when it comes to Jewish organizations, the good news is that there are many that are getting things right at this moment. Obviously I’m partial to J Street. But there are also many others, including the ten Jewish organizations that represent a large swath of American Jewry - including three of the four denominations – and signed onto a statement rejecting the false choice between Jewish safety and democracy.

And so the bottom line is that at this moment, things are scary, complicated, and exhausting. It’s disappointing that this is so hard and the supports aren’t stronger. However, there are many tools, resources and organizations that liberal American Jews can use to stand up, be heard, and fight back.